The synchronicity is one of the largest factors that tells me that our lives were never really ours, that free will had been taken very early, if it were ever really there. It appears now in hindsight, that so much of what went on when we first started dating, and our subsequent marriage, was contrived. Not by me or Mary, but by an external force that I would not see or understand until we re-united. This force appears to use the media in a grand information operation against the public, and the use of this particular show, as well as our unnatural interest in it, leads me to personally identify it as a Mark, something that tells me we’ve been shrouded in predestination for longer than I ever could have thought.
When we first started dating, I would travel back and forth from college to spend weekends with Mary. Eventually it became clear to me that there was a problem surrounding her. Her brother had left her living with his girlfriend, who had previously had a heroin addiction. When he left for jail, this girl began giving dope to Mary, and would eventually wind up stealing from her in order to finance her habit. I was very against needles, and from the outset was determined to stop her from doing this to herself. In what was unfortunate at the time, but eventually did serve to corral the problem, Mary wound up overdosing sometime during the first months we dated. Afterwords, I brought her back to school with me, to keep her away from the dealers and problems, and we spent a week away. I had called one of her dealers and threatened them, told him she wasn’t going to make it, and that he needed to leave her alone. All of these things together, along with her resilience and I believe happiness brought about by the hope of a new relationship, worked together to stop the problem. After only about a month, Mary had returned to her old self, and to my knowledge she never used again. I felt like I had saved her, and I think she felt grateful to me. It was a strange way to begin a relationship, but it gave us a level of trust and compassion that was abnormally high.
Over the next year, we would move in together, and take several trips to tropical locations. Travel was one of our favorite common things to do, and we always enjoyed new scenery, hotels, and of course drinking at the beach. We would take a lot of pictures on these trips, some innocent and some not so innocent. Kids having fun.
I began thinking about proposing. The timing was synchronistic, or ironic, or contrived it’s really hard to say. We had begun watching 7th Heaven, the television show, which was somewhat out of the norm for the two of us. ON the show, which we began watching regularly, two of the characters had eloped, and I practically decided to do the same thing in parallel.
One evening, after sneaking out to buy a ring, I knelt down on one knee, next to her in bed, and asked her if she would marry me. She was genuinely surprised, and her immediately enthusiastic reply was “I do.” It was cute, jumping ahead to the ceremony in her mind, and we smiled at each other and made plans to go apply for a marriage license in person shortly after.
During our time dating, I had learned quite a bit about Mary, and her background. (Or so I thought.) She told me that she and her brothers had lived with their mother, who was a horrible parent, until they were old enough to demand to leave, and each of them went, one after another, to their fathers in Florida around the age of 15. Mary told me that her mother had a horrible drinking problem, and when she was in middle school, her mother had taken her out, so that she could take care of her baby brother. She was supposedly home schooled, but wasn’t taught anything, and spent her days changing diapers, helping the baby, and being forced to wash and rewash the dishes and floor. She described it as hell, and told me she never, ever wanted to be like her mother was. She cried when she told me this story, and I felt for her, my youth was nowhere near as problematic, and I was thankful that she had gotten through it OK, and that we had been brought together.